Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Finally meeting Poison Control

Josh : Mom, what's this?
Me : What?
Josh : All these medicines on the floor?

Sam's preschool adventure today included emptying the 180 ct. Gummie Vitamins and the 90 ct. Vitamin D bottles in to the carpet. I picked up 66 of 90 vitamin Ds, not sure how many Jared has taken in the last 10-14 days. No clue how many vitamins should be left, it didn't look too much lower than when we passed them out at breakfast.

Me : Sam, did you eat any medicines?
Sam : {hides his face}
Me : Sam, look at my face, I'm not upset I just need to know if you ate some of the medicines.
Sam : {whispers} no

Heck, why am I asking an almost three year old if he ate any gummies when they were just there for the taking? I'm sure he dumped them out and walked away.

PC : Hello, Poison Control
Me : Hi, my 3 year old may have taken some extra vitamins and vitamin D pills while I was being a good preschool teacher, but a bad mom (but please know, I have three other kids and I've never called you before!)
PC : What brand? How many? How many originally? Is he flushed? headache? nauseous?
He's OK. I'll call you back in an hour to check on him. Watch for bright, yellow, odor-full diapers.
Me : Thank you. (p.s. I'm a good mom, I'm a good mom, I'm..a...good..mom, ok, fine, I'm doing the best I can but he's killing me!)

Will there be a day in the near future when Sam doesn't have my heart racing for one reason or another?!?

Doesn't he know I had a birthday, too, and I'm too old for this? My aging heart can't handle it?

For anyone keeping count, the score since January 8th is Sam- 7, Mom-0.
3 bathroom vs. toothpaste incidents
1 bathroom vs. hairspray incident
1 bathroom vs. spray cleaner incident
1 syrup vs. the pantry incident
1 Poison Control incident

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sometimes, blogging saves lives. Today it definitely saved Sam's. Even though I haven't yet blogged Christmas, I must blog the syrup episode or a small boy may not see his third birthday next week.
And, if you laugh about it, you won't cry.

(I will go back for Christmas and basketball later when we have our own computer back and I'm not working on a loaner.)

Here's the story:

One day, a beautiful, young mother was sitting at the computer in her kitchen. All of a sudden, she noticed a brown ooze coming out from under the pantry door. Worried that soda had exploded in the pantry, she jumped from her chair, threw up the sash...wait, wrong story. She jumped from her chair, threw open the door and saw the Saminator standing there.

Beyond the Saminator, was the blood and guts of our former friend, Mrs. B who was found upside down in the Woot! box full of potatoes.

You could say we had a sticky situation.
It was messy. It was very messy . It was even too messy for a chalk outline.

A chalk outline that could've been drawn with the sugar from the sugar crime scene background.

Premeditation was proven by the peanut butter jar lid in the midst of the carnage and the purple spaceship that had been the Saminator's previous quest tossed to the side of the current crime.

Mrs. B refrained from giving a comment. She was said to be feeling hollow, empty, and at a complete loss for words (or anything else, really).

The Potato Family was evacuated from their box home only to fall right into the middle of the crime scene. A can of green beans overheard the Potato father comment, "The memories of this day will stick with us forever".

Luckily, for the Potato family, they were rinsed and returned to the pantry within an hour. The innards of Mrs. B are long gone and she just sits on the counter wringing her empty hands. A Pantry Community that will be haunted forever.
The Saminator is still on the loose. Witnesses report that he draws his victims in with a charming smile and a need for snacks.

In related news, two toothpaste tubes were reported to have been squoze to death on Wednesday. The first death was reported from the downstairs bathroom where evidence was left on the rug, the toilet, the sink, and the floor.
The second death was found later in the day under the train table kept on the second floor of the house.
A room that is often frequented by...

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