Meiners Mayhem

I received a call from this coming Sunday's Relief Society teacher. She asked me to prepare a 'job description' for what I do. I might have to put it when I get it done! Anyways, this weeks lesson is Elder Ballard's talk "Daughters of God".

So, after thinking about it for a few days, here's what I've come up with. I think I turned it more into an ad for my job instead of a job description. Any takers? :)

Permanent position available in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication, translation, and organizational skills and be willing to work evenings and weekends as well as frequent 24 hour shifts. Extensive travel and courier hours, not to be reimbursed. Multi-tasking is of utmost importance. Must be able to bite tongue as well as give advice. Must be able to offer help without hampering independence. Must answer phone calls, maintain calendars, give verbal reminders of appointments, volunteer in classrooms, prepare meals without green stuff, coordinate production of multiple homework projects, and be entertained by endless knock knock jokes. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages a including 'fun' snacks. In depth knowledge of battery operated toys helpful as well as assembly and product safety testing. Be ultimately responsible for maintenance and upkeep of all areas of building while teaching clients importance personal upkeep. Experience with tools, toilet plungers, and Magic Eraser helpful. Must be willing to occasionally overlook physical surroundings in opting for the greater good. Financial/accounting/ magic skills a plus. Referee skills useful. Must be willing to continually try to instill values and morals, and offer faith promoting experiences for clients. On-the-job training offered continually due to the fact that previous education and experience are of little or no help.