job similarities

Jared has been under a lot of pressure lately at work. It seems the founder, the boss, and the supervisor are all coming to him with different things that need to be done right now. They each tell him to forget the other guys and work on what they're asking for, and, oh yeah, have it don yesterday!
This is an email I just received from him, and my reponse. I thought I was pretty funny after I hit the 'Send" button and I knew you would all be dying to read it!

Jared's job:
Boss 1: Stop what you are doing and work on this and it has to be done today. If somebody tells you different, you come talk to me.
Boss 2: Stop what you are doing and work on this and it has to be done today. If somebody tells you different, you come talk to me.
Boss 3: Stop what you are doing and work on this and it has to be done today. If somebody tells you different, you come talk to me.
Boss1,2,and 3: why isn't this done yet????
repeat
I just had lunch at 2:30

Kelly's job:
boss 1 : where's my swimsuit? Find it for me!boss
2: I have MY suit, ha ha ha. But, mom, where are my flip flops?boss 1 : mom, find my suit and tell him to quit bothering me
boss 3: MAKE ME CHOCOLATE MILK!!!
boss 4: waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh (feed me immediately)
boss 2: where'd you put my scout shirt, mom? Can you find it?
boss 1: where's my swimsuit? Why aren't you looking for it? You just don't like me as much as bosses 1, 2, & 4
boss 3: Mom, I said Chocolate miiiilllk!
boss 4 : wwaaaaaahhhhhhhh! (hold me so I can wiggle on you and wipe snot on you)
boss 2: mom, where's my scout book?
boss 1 : i can't find my suit and you're doing scout stuff instead of helping me! (SLAMS door)
boss 3: I spilled my chocolate milk. Mom clean up my milk!
boss 4: waaaaaahhhhhhh ( I don't like where you've put me - I need to be on your lap; NOW)

and that was all before 9AM this morning!